Happy first day of Spring! Kids are off to school and my two youngest are playing nicely together. Oh, how I love to watch them play. It puts a smile on my face, and joy in my heart. :)
Last week I really enjoyed reading all of your comments about parenting. I have been really challenged lately as a parent in many ways. Part of it comes because my children are so close together in age. (7,6,5,4 and 2) With my oldest, I am finding all sorts of challenges that I am totally unprepared for. You know, the kinds of things you only learn from another girlfriend, not the parenting books. I am so blessed to be surrounded by other moms who have been there before me, even if it is across the miles through blogging!
This week I wanted to share something with you from the Beth Moore study "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman." Each week she has shared a scenario as a main point. This week it was "It's tough being a woman in a mean world." How true is that! She goes on to teach the difference between mean people and mean streaks, which are moments where meanness just rears its head in us. The difference between a mean person and someone who just had a mean streak show itself, is that mean people never say they are sorry or admit they are wrong. On the other hand, someone who had a momentary lapse in judgement and either said something mean or did something mean feels bad about it, is willing to apologize for it, and make amends.
As a parent, I have seen those mean streaks in me, and I do not like them one bit. Usually it's when I'm ever so busy, and my kids are acting out so I have to stop what I'm doing. Other times I am ill, or just plain tired and the little annoyances seem to flare up and become big ones. That's when I shout, blame, and sometimes say things that I immediately regret.
So what do I do when I find myself in those situations? I hug my kids and ask for forgiveness. They need to know that not even mom is perfect. How are they going to learn humility if they don't see it in me? In cases where disobedience was involved, after I've calmed down I explain to them why there will be consequences to their actions. Then in private, in my own time before the Lord, I work it out with Him. I ask Him to search my heart and see what caused my outburst. I "recharge" like Rachel Anne said today in her post, and seek Him in His Word and in prayer.
My Pastor said something on Sunday that really made sense to me. It's not often our successes that we learn and grow from, but our failures. Sometimes we just have to fall flat on our face before we can soar on wings. Can anyone relate to that? I can.
Isaiah 40:29-31 says it best.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Thank you for letting me be transparent before you. If I am really going to talk about what matters here, I need to be able to do that. I am so glad that I have each of you as friends for this journey. I look forward to having coffee with you throughout the weekend!
In His grace,
Melissa
13 comments:
Thanks for sharing. It is encouraging to be reminded that we do not struggle alone, especially in parenting--and God's Word does not return void! I think transparency and honesty with our children is so important. Apologizing to them can be humbling, but essential life modeling! I also don't let my children use the ever popular term,"my bad", in place of an apology! Yes,teaching takes time, but in light of how patient God is with us, I know He can also equip us for this job as mother. Hope you have a good week!
Michelle
I just loved your post. I've never thought of mean people vs mean streaks. I've heard that is a great study.
I am so amazed that you are able to successfully parent 5 children so close in age. I have 2 children 6 years apart and many days it takes all I have to keep it sort of together.
I think it does mean so much to admit when you are wrong. That is a difficult lesson right now with out oldest.Mom needs to be a good example.
Good luck!
Have a great weekend!
Thank you for being transparent before the Lord and for being so transparent with us as well. It sounds like you're slightly imperfect, like the rest of us, which gives so much room for the Holy Spirit to work, in you and the rest of your family. He does know how to parent us in our processes.
Have a good weekend. :)
Oh how I needed to read this. I'm in a situation now where I felt like I may have done something mean, but in my trasparency to explain that, someone else was offended. I've apologized, but the silence is a huge wall. And being the people pleaser I am that is killing me. I know God wants to grow me, but those growing pains hurt! I'm grateful for your words. Thanks fo the coffee.
Great post, Melissa. Yes, we all have "those moments" where we immediately wish we could take back what we said. By God's Grace, we press on. I can say I'm a much better parent for my youngest (15) than I was when my oldest was also 15. We do our best, make mistakes, pray for forgiveness, and move on. You have a lovely family and it is evident that you are all growing together because of Him.
Melissa - thanks for visiting Ginosko - I'm also using a chronological reading plan for my read through of the Bible.
Those little words "I'm sorry" are so very powerful. Transparency doesn't come naturally, and it's awfully hard work. Thank goodness we have the Spirit to strenthen us, and sisters in Christ to encourage us!
Thanks for the reminder as I sit here in bed typing after an exhausting, physically and emotionally week. I needed that.
Wasn't it BEAUTIFUL yesterday?!?! I had the windows open at home, had my sunglasses on while I was on playground duty, enjoyed a walk with my husband and the beagle boys. It was definitely a great start to the spring season!!!
Today was a different story. But the warmth will be back next week. Thanks for the coffee and for sharing, too. We def need to get together for REAL!!!
Thanks for sharing. That was the passage from last week's sermon at our church.....the little one wants me to go over and put her bed...hehe Have a fantastic week, and thanks for visiting as usual!
Oh, I can relate! I often have a mean streak rear it's head when I'm busy and they want to get into things they're not supposed to be in. My mom and I were talking the other night, and we decided that when I'm in the kitchen working on candy, I need to set up their little table, and let them color, play with playdo, whatever. They're getting in to things getting my attention, and maybe this will help.
I'm so glad you stopped by, and I was able to pay a visit to you. God has a way of showing us what we need to see when we need to see it.
We took Growing Kids God's Way classes that were so helpful...and one of the things that never left me was the question, "What are you (or your kids) characterized by?" So when you have a meltdown or really blow it, but in general you are characterized by kindness, it helps you not beat yourself up. It also gives you understanding for others who display a mean streak occasionally. There is so much room for GRACE in our lives, isn't there??
I think that you are in the hardest "stage" of parenting. It is not only physically exhausting, but emotionally draining to keep it together. I think I felt most like a failure during those years. But what's really cool is my kids don't remember anything about my failures, except for one or two incidences (that we laugh about now). Being humble with them sets such a tone of forgiveness and grace...and you can't go wrong with that.
So, how do you know Amanda?
Fun to get a little glimpse into your life too! Great to "meet" you!
You may have seen that I'm doing Beth Moore's Scripture Memory thing too this year. Way to go! Any way you can go to the thing in January. My husband really wants me to, so I'm going to try!
Have a great day!
Shana
Thanks for that breath of fresh air! I always remember Isaiah 40:31 because it was my dad's favorite verse.
I just did a Beth Moore study and loved it. I'll have to look into the one you were referring to.
Have a great week!
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