I'm just about to make some lunch, so I've switched to water for the day, but I want to invite you to come in and hang out for a while. Something I read this morning really threw me for a loop and I'd love to hear your opinion about it.
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think anything else you do well matters very much." -Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
At first, this quote seemed pretty extreme to me. I mean, I'm trying my best to raise my children up well, but NOTHING else matters? Hmm...let me think about that some more.
Here's what Jesus had to say to His disciples when they asked Him who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven:
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name, welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" -Matthew 18:2-6
That last part is pretty pointed. It makes me stop and think about what I can be doing with His help to better myself as a parent. Notice I said with His help. Would I say that I bungle my responsibilities as a parent from time to time? Yes. Definitely. All I can do is lean on Him while I do my best to raise up these little ones that He has entrusted to me. It takes a lot of humility, and a willingness on my part to admit my mistakes and learn from them.
So tell me, what are your thoughts on the matter? I look forward to hearing from you!
12 comments:
Yup, all we can do is our best. And His help would make our best even better.
Wow, I have to think on that one for a while. We all bungle parenting, and it is refreshing to see that someone values motherhood. There are so many different kinds of mistakes. What if we didn't teach our children about God? That's a huge one! Still thinking...
Thanks for the post.
We have great responsibility as parents, that is for sure! Thanks for the coffee (and the deep thought to ponder)!
I agree with you, we need God's help each and every day as we endeavor to be good moms(especially when they hit the teen years!)
I have 4 kiddos and they are each so different.
When my older son was young he was so quiet, mild-mannered and easily amused. I'm embarrassed to admit that I thought it was because of my great parenting skills.Then I had another boy--and he was very different!
Each child comes with their own personality and challenges. Outside of the physical, no one human being could possibly provide every single thing that they need (emotionally, spiritually, etc.)perfectly. Knowing that God loves them even more than I do, and knows them even better than I do, resting in Him for guidance is a big weight lifted!
I suppose I tend to agree with the quote, in general. I think I see it as a quote about priorities...that we can get busy doing a lot of important things, yet the most important is raising our families.
I'd be the first to admit that I've bungled my way through it. I heard someone on the radio the other day, talking about "grace-based parenting." I was not able to hear the name of the man speaking, or catch the title of his book, but it struck a chord with me. It seems to me the the most well-rounded kids come from families that know they aren't perfect but they work as a team to do their best anyway.
I'm thankful for the wisdom and grace of the Lord to help us through the parenting journey. It's the only way to make it!!
As always, great thoughts and coffee!
I think God made us all imperfect...and unable to do anything truly on our own without being disobedient to Him....God's royal law to love all people indeed sets apart the children, or the weak or poor as precious in his sight...for they trust and depend on Him....for me, I believe that if I make all the committees in the world or work goals, and don't take time to love my children as they are daily...it is all a waste! God is God and I plan to love each of the gifts he gave me!
hugs my friend!!
Melissa, my kids are 21 and 23 now, but I'm still thinking about how I chose to raise them & what I would do differently! I've bungled a lot and I can't say I've always been proud of my actions. We've worked a lot on this as they've grown up and moved out on their own. They aren't worse for the wear because of my bungles! The Lord has been gracious with me and them! :)
As I'm teaching in the classroom, I'm so quick to extend the Lord's grace to the students I interact with. It's like the Lord has given me a bunch of second chances at parenting!
ps I LOVE your kiddos. You and Scott are doing an awesome job!!
I still enjoying reading... :) Ok, I hope this comes out right. Though I'm not a parent yet (only 2 more months!), I get so much out of thoughts and discussions about parenting. I am going to be home with our little one and the future little ones we may be blessed with. It's a hard concept for most to understand after all my education to be a teacher. Everyone asks if I'm looking for a full time job. Right now, I'm subbing, and even debated subbing a day or two a week after the baby comes. What I realized for me...(not trying to get into the working/staying home debate), is that I will have so much more influence on the children God has placed in our care and home (what a privilege and responsibility they are...gifts from God) than the children I may see a few times a year being scattered across all different classrooms as a sub. Therefore, I need to be where God is leading me, and for now anyway, that is home when this baby comes. I'm so excited! So, I'm leaning on His arms and learning what I can from all you great moms out there to try to decrease the bungles I'll make!
I have never been a huge fan of Jackie O. But, ironically, several of her quotes have made their way into my life over the last few weeks – and quite honestly – she makes a lot of sense.
I don’t know that Jackie was referring to any Biblical principles when she made such a dramatic statement, but she is right on when it comes to God’s ideal for society. Don’t you think? The family is the building block of society. Our job as parents is crucial to the state of that society.
In his book Dare to Discipline James Dobson tells the story of the frog in the pan of cool water. Slowly, the water is heated till it reaches the boiling point. The frog, however, continues to sit in the pan unaware of the fact that it is boiling to death.
I think this is a pretty good illustration of what is happening to families today. Without godly parental guidance, society turns godless. . . . . (Sadly, isn’t this where we are today?)
Kids (and frogs) :-) pretty much reflect their environment.
As a Chrsitian parent, the quote scares me because my choice to become a parent puts me at a greater level of responsibility . . .
I’ve made plenty of mistakes with my kids – I’ve “bungled” – I think most of us do. But to acknowledge it and do better is what the Lord sees. . . . .
Great question! I’ll be thinking about this for most of the afternoon!
Yikes.
Very interesting to think about that. I think that while we are in our parenting years, it is absolutely important to do the very best we can, knowing that we will bungle things up from time to time. I am so grateful for God's grace and can only pray that when my children are grown, they will remember what they were taught as youths. They may stumble and sin along the way, but I pray they return to the foot of the cross after each slip.
(Thanks for the water! I've been needing to drink more!)
I agree both ways. On one side I see what she is saying...nothing is moreiomportant than raising God loving children. But on the other side of that I realize I have made SOOO many mistakes as a parent. Yet, the Lord KNEW I would make them, and He chose to give me these children anyway. WOW! It really makes me want to lean on Him more, bathe my children in prayer more, and follow His example more. His strength is perfect when my strength is gone.
Thank you for the thoughts.
Just found your blog, and am excited to read more.
I had my first 5 children in 4 years, and they are all adults now (20, 20, 22, 23, 24). Our parenting was certainly not perfect, but I really don't know if we would have changed anything major, if we could have. Now that they are young adults, we talk openly about how and why we parented as we did. Our kids are GREAT KIDS (doing AMAZING things for the Lord), but they have each made their own poor choices at times, too. So, now we are discussing some of those poor choices and saying, "Should we have done something differently? Should we have had more rules, been more strict? Should we have had less rules, and been more lenient? Over and over again, our adult children have told me, "Mom, you really had a good balance." Whew!
Now, the reason we are asking so many questions after they are already grown, is that we don't want to "mess up" with the younger 7. Yes, I am still right there in the trenches with younger mamas, with my two youngest only being in 1st grade. So, I've got at least 11 more years of homeschooling, to add to the 18 I've already completed. :)
Family has always been my priority. When the church begged for workers, I quietly thought, "My job right now is to train up my children to become the Lord's workers." And, right now I have 3 children living overseas (Argentina, Germany, Jordan), serving the Lord (with a 4th that was in ministry for 3 years, before moving on to other things).
All this to say ... I will NEVER regret making family my priority ... more important than money (career) or things, more important than my own ministry or social life.
God has richly blessed my life as I have focused on being a ...
mama of 13
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