A Question of What Matters

This post is an entry from my hand-written journal on 6/6/2013...

This week Rachel Anne over at Home Sanctuary asked a question that I happen to ask myself quite frequently... "What Matters to You?"

When I started my blog "Seven Matters," I came up with the subtitle "What Matters Most to this Family of Seven."  I started out by writing about the Small Things challenges that Rachel Anne would give us to create sanctuary in our homes each day.  From there, I began to expand into the different activities, memories, and other fun things that come along with having such a big family.  It became a "journal" of sorts.  At the time I had 5 small children and I was still a full time at-home mom.  Life was busy, but I always still somehow found time to sit down and write.  I've always loved to journal, so this was a new and fun way to do just that.

Fast forward six years or so and I am in a totally different stage of life.  I would say that most of the same things still matter to me in the areas of being a wife, mother, and homemaker.  Now that all of my children are in school though, I have added titles like part-time-working mom, classroom volunteer, and taxi driver!  I am finding it a little harder to sit down at the computer to write, so I've gone back to writing in a notebook when I find a minute here and there. 

My youngest, age six, is finishing up kindergarten.  Kindergarten!  I can hardly believe it!  I still remember the shy, reluctant boy that clung to my hand the first day of school, unsure of what to think.  Every school day this year he has wanted me to wait with him in line outside the door until the bell rings and his teacher comes to lead the children inside.  (As I type this, I did that for the last time today, and boy was it hard!)  When it was too cold to wait outside, we would sit in the car reading until the bell rang while my other children would play in the gym.  He's grown a lot more independent this year but I will cherish those moments together for many years to come.

My other kids are going into 3rd, 5th, 6th, and 7th grades next year.  I can't believe I will have TWO Middle-Schoolers next year!  Talk about independent.  It's a whole new world, the pre-teen years.  They start to question the rules a bit and no longer just follow along because mommy said so.  On the flip side, they are developing more responsibility and character.  Their actions become their own and they are, in my mind, great kids.  The most exciting part for me is watching them grow in their own faith and trust God more and more every day.

So what matters to me?  Family.  That sums it up in one word.  I can't make time stand still.  My children will continue to grow and have birthdays and move on each fall to the next grade level of school.  But one thing doesn't change.  I am, and always will be their mom.  And I love them more and more every day!

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3 NLT

A Priceless Gift

Sometimes I just need a little reminding to have a positive attitude.  Rachel Anne over at Home Sanctuary had perfect timing this morning with her post Glass Half Full. 

In her post she says "Learning to have a positive attitude is a gift we can give our children...and is a gift we can give ourselves."  A gift.  Encouraging words.  Understanding.  Grace.  All gifts that are priceless, wrapped in selfless love.  Gifts designed by the Master of giving. 

Mornings aren't always the most positive environment around here with 5 kids getting ready for school.  Take this morning, for example.  I was having a tough morning, being stretched to the limit.  One of my boys came to me and said he was sorry for making me mad.  I was only trying to teach him that he needs to be responsible for some things on his own in the morning because Mommy can't do it all.  I think all he heard was "I'm mad at you because you're making my life difficult."  I hugged him and told him I wasn't mad and that I was sorry for coming across that way. 

Am I sorry for trying to teach him to help himself in the morning?  No.  I am, however, sorry for the way I presented the lesson.  It must have been in my tone of voice.  Or maybe the words I used.  Perhaps it was just the frown on my face.  I am so thankful that he was brave enough to approach me.  My heart sinks to think that I could hurt one of my children with my words.  I'm so glad they are quick to forgive me.

I am going to try to have a more positive attitude in the morning.  Hopefully it will be contageous... a gift worth wrapping and unwrapping over and over again. 

"Let all that you do be done in love." -1Corinthians 16:14
 

Wisdom Matters

We've hit a bit of a rough patch with rules, discipline, and obedience around here lately.  With five kids, we try to be very clear about what we expect, and as consistent as possible with consequences when there are infractions.  Lately though, limits have been tested, and buttons have been pushed.  What seemed to be working before is now broken.  You know that verse "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him?"  (James 1:5) Well, that's me.  I've been asking God to give us the wisdom that we need to make the right parenting choices.

If ever you're having a hard time as a parent, you should head straight to the book of James.  Talk about encouraging, and at the same time, very humbling.  I've been reading it, re-reading it, and now I plan to memorize one particular verse that I landed on today about wisdom. (Siesta Scripture Memory Verse 21)

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy." -James 3:17

I am a person that naturally loves lists.  So when a verse in the bible has a list in it, I sit up and take notes.  In this verse, the list is instructing about what wisdom from heaven looks like.  Let's take another look.

Wisdom from above is:
first pure
then peaceable
gentle
reasonable
full of mercy and good fruits
unwavering
without hypocrisy

Anyone else have some difficulties with that list?  Reasonable, unwavering, and without hypocrisy are probably my top three that I struggle with.  Hmm...I can't pray for wisdom without expecting opportunities to practice the things on this list.  The good news is that I don't have to develop these character traits on my own.  God is helping me to become more like His Son every day.  He has given me His Holy Spirit as my helper, His word to instruct me, and prayer as a means of communication with Him. 

Yes, I have all the tools I need to be a Godly parent.  And the good news is, you do too!

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." -2 Cor. 9:8


Seeking to Know Him More,
~Melissa

The Fruit that Grows out of Discipline

"When you get home from school, you're mine," I said very firmly to my son this morning as we were getting into the van to go to school.  He knew that not getting his chores done before school meant that not only did he have to do them when he got home, but I was going to give him a chore or two extra of my choice.

Today being the first day of fall, I decided it was weeding time.  I haven't really had a chance to get to the back yard since we moved in so I handed him a pair of gloves, pulled the garbage can around to the back yard, and put him to work.  

I showed him exactly what area I wanted cleared and was ready to leave him to his work when I spotted a little yellow flower.  A closer look revealed that under all those weeds there were two pear tomato plants struggling to survive.  Just goes to show what you can find when you pull away the weeds and dead foliage.

Hmm...  I suppose my son is not the only one getting a lesson today.

Lately I have been reading a lot about the Lord's discipline in our lives.

Proverbs 3:11-12 says "My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD, or loathe His reproof,  for whom the LORD loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights."

Paul quotes this scripture to the Hebrews in Hebrews chapter 12:5-6, reminding them that the Lord's discipline is a GOOD thing.  He goes on to say "Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?  For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.  All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."  (Hebrews 12:9-11)

How does this relate to my son, our back yard, and weeds?  Remember the pear tomato plants that we found?  If I had not decided to discipline my son with the task of pulling weeds, we would not have found the tomato plants that were there, which currently have two tomatoes growing from them.  Perhaps now that the weeds have been pulled away, they will produce even more fruit.

The lesson that God taught me is this: Sometimes before "the peaceful fruit of righteousness" can be produced in our lives, we must first be disciplined to pull a few "weeds," or the sins that prevent us from growing more like Him.

I discipline my children because I love them, and I want them to grow into responsible adults with excellent character.  In turn, I accept the Lord's discipline in my life because I want to reflect His character and "share in His holiness."

Blessings,
~Melissa

Company Girl Coffee - Taste and See

"Hey Mikey!  He likes it!"  Anyone else remember that commercial for LIFE cereal?  Some things just stick with you over the years.  The point of the commercial was that Mikey was a picky eater, but sure enough, he liked LIFE.

I have five kids.  Very few meals that I serve receive the stamp of approval from all five of them.  When one of my kids doesn't like what's put on the dinner table I simply say "Just taste it and see.  You might like it this time."  They all know that I am not a short order cook, and you get what you get.  I do my best to serve them healthy meals with a wide variety of foods while their little taste buds are still developing.  With children it is often necessary to offer a new food half a dozen times before they approve.

There is one thing though, that every single one of my kids are hungry for every day:

The Word of God. 

They ask for it frequently and I am more than happy to give it to them.  There's nothing I'd rather be doing with them more than reading and discussing the Bible.   I love that they are developing a taste for God's Word early in life, because there is nothing more satisfying.

 "Taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him!" -Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Have a great weekend!

~Melissa

 

Responsibility Matters

Good morning! I'm getting a bit of a late start this morning, but it's for a good reason. This morning I went to my kids' Awards Assembly at their school. I've known for a little while now that my 3rd grade son was going to get a Character Counts Award for Responsibility. It was all I could do to keep it a secret. He was so surprised when his name was called. I am so proud of him for showing responsibility both in school, and here at home.

It was a pleasant surprise to me when they reached the 4th grade names and they called out RL's name to come forward and receive the award also. As she walked by, she looked at me with a big grin on her face. I'm so glad I could be there for both of them. The award is such a great way to boost their confidence.

Responsibility. It's a big word, isn't it? I've tried to teach my children what the word means. Today two of them were honored for it, but every day I watch for opportunities to praise my children when I catch them acting responsibly. Things like doing their chores without being asked, being prepared for school on time, completing their homework without being nagged, or picking up their toys when they are done playing.

Yes, I'd like to think that I'm raising responsible children. So today, I'm very proud to see their hard work recognized in front of all their peers. In the end though, what matters most is that they continue to behave responsibly, even when no one is watching. For one day, we will all be held responsible for our own actions.

"But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another." -Galatians 6:4 (NASB)

Have a great weekend all!

~Melissa

A Christmas Surprise

When Rachel asked us to share a Christmas memory this morning over at Home Sanctuary, my mind began spinning with tales of Christmas' past. First I thought of marching through the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree as a child. Years of opening one present on Christmas on Christmas Eve and the anticipation of a stocking filled with little treasures brought a smile to my face. Then there were the Christmas dinners! Oh, we never had a very fancy spread, but you could always count on a full house. Our doors were always open to employees from our store that didn't have anywhere else to go. Never let it be said that there weren't enough seats around our table.

Yes, I have many fond Christmas memories. There is one though, that my thoughts landed on this morning that is very dear to my heart. It was nine years ago, and we were spending Christmas at my in-laws. I had been married to my loving husband for six years by then. It was no secret that we were trying to get pregnant with our first baby at the time, but with much difficulty. In fact, we'd been trying for almost four years with no results. With the support and prayers of family and friends and the help of doctors, we held out hope that one day we would become parents.

I love spending Christmas with my DH's family. They open one gift at a time so that everyone can share in the excitement. We didn't have much money that year, but we did have one gift that we put under the tree for his parents. It was one simple envelope. We were sure to place it way at the back, hidden under all the other gifts and it was marked "Open Me Last."

When my Mother in Law finally held the envelope in her hands, she questioned the mystery of it all. We told her that it was a Christmas surprise. You could feel the suspense in the room and all eyes were on her as she opened it.

In the card was a photo and a note. The note went something like this:

"Dear Mom and Doug, in 7 months you will be a Nana and Papa! We're having a baby!"

The photo was a copy of my first ultrasound. Tears began to roll down my Mother in Law's cheeks as we announced that we were finally pregnant. It was a Christmas miracle and the best gift that year. God had answered our prayers.

RL is 8 years old now, and she has three brothers and a sister! To hear the entire story of my journey into motherhood, you can read this post.

Thanks for letting me share my Christmas memory here. I look forward to reading some of yours also.

May God bless you as we reflect on the story of His birth this Christmas Season.

Company Girl Coffee 11.20.09

Good morning! This cup of coffee is for all of my young mommy friends out there in blogger land, and all the new moms that have or may eventually cross paths with me. It is a journal entry from March 13, 2002 and I was five months pregnant with my second child.

"Today I read about a woman's calling to love her children. I am so excited about increasing our little family from three to four, and the chance to finally be a stay at home wife and mom, turning my full attention and love towards building a home sanctuary."

"It says in Proverbs 14:1 'The wise woman builds her house...'"

"I must admit, that I am a little scared. I have so much still to learn about being a mother! How will I teach my little ones to love Jesus? To pray? How will I learn to discipline them in love? Or teach them to respect their elders and authorities? Loving them comes naturally, but there is so much more to raising children. The more I read and pray, the more I realize how much there is to this magnificent calling from God! Oh how I need to pray more! Oh how I need to glean instruction from the woman that Titus 2:3-5 speaks of!"

"Proverbs 24:3-4 says 'By wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.'"

"Lord, help me to obtain wisdom, understanding, and knowledge through You!"

Well, I am still praying ladies! And I am praying for all of you new mommies and mommies with pre-schoolers and newborns. I have been there. My first three babies were a year or less apart in age. I leaned heavily on scripture, prayer, and the love of family and friends as I grew into my roll of motherhood. Still do!

Proverbs 3:5-6 is one of my favorite passages. I like the Amplified version:

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths."

I am so thankful to be a mom. I am in a different season now, where my youngest of five is going to be three next week. I look back on my baby years with fond memories of rocking, snuggling and yes, late nights and moments of worry and discouragement.

Know that if you are in this place right now, I am praying for you. You are not alone. God is with you and He will "direct and make straight and plain your paths."

God bless you in your journey!
~Melissa~

Company Girl Interview

Welcome to my blog! If you are a first time visitor, then this will be the perfect way for you to get to know me better. I started this blog a little over a year ago to record my thoughts and the comings and goings of this family of seven. Most of all, I just wanted a place to talk about what matters to me.

Before I even dreamed of having my own blog, I stumbled onto a blog called Raising Five. Katherine is a woman after my own heart. She is an incredible woman of God that is raising five children of her own. She is full of all kinds of wisdom! It is from her blog that I found her sister, Rachel Anne, and Home Sanctuary. Rachel Anne has not only taught me that sanctuary is in the small things, but that there is so much more to being a homemaker than cleaning and laundry!

I am honored to be a part of her first newsletter. I only wish that our interview could have been face to face. One day I will meet her in person, but for now, I am a devoted Company Girl, pride and true! :)

Thanks for visiting! I hope you enjoy the complete answers to the questions in our interview.

Q: As a mom of 5 young children, what is your secret for getting out the door all together?

A: I line them up and count heads! Seriously, I make sure to get ready first. Otherwise, I get caught up in helping everyone else and I rush out the door frazzled. Those who are old enough get ready on their own. If I know that we are going somewhere in advance then I have the kids put out their shoes and anything we are taking with us, by the door the night before. (Book bags, bibles, etc.) Don't forget to allow time to fasten all those seat belts!

Q: How do you manage to have some personal time, or is that impossible?

A: My kids know that from 7:00-7:30am I sit on the couch, read my bible, and pray. That's mommy and Jesus time and that's all there is to it. When my children were babies I used to watch tv shows like Joyce Meyers and Life in the Word while doing a midnight or 3:00am feeding. I have learned to take what I can get. I used to think that "quiet time" meant no one else in the room and no noise going on around me. What I have noticed is that as I have explained to my children how important my morning devotion time is to me, they respect that and don't interrupt me unless it is very important. I have even seen my oldest (7) reading her bible during this time. This makes my heart leap with joy! In addition to that, I participate in Women's Bible Study once a week, listen to CDs in my kitchen, and keep a variety of books on my nightstand to read before bed.

Q: What advice would you give to a new mom who is trying to get organized?

A: It's not about arriving at "organized." It's about finding out what works for you in the season you are in. If you have to write out a list every day from brush your teeth in the morning to wash your face and go to bed at night, then do it! At least you will be able to look back at the end of your day and know that you accomplished something. I recommend a bare-bones plan. Sit down and write out time blocks without using the clock. For example, label your time blocks "morning routine", "afternoon routine", and "evening routine", and refer to them often. Keep it simple. Revisit and revise your schedule as your needs change.

Q: Do you have a favorite verse?

A: Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Q: What is your biggest challenge in raising a "large" family?

A: Adapting discipline to fit the needs of 5 very different children. Not only are they different in age, but their personalities are so different! Each of them is unique by God's design and they respond differently to rules and boundaries. We have the same rules for all of them, but the consequences to breaking those rules often vary with each child.

Q: What do you love most about being a mom?

A: Without a doubt, it's the way that my children love me unconditionally. They remind me of Christ's love for me every day. They hug me without letting go first and they are not afraid to say "I love you mommy" a thousand times a day!

Q: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?

A: Actually, I'm somewhat of a homebody. I love being an at home mom and I don't really have much of a desire to travel to far off places. I don't even like to drive more than 10 miles from home! But if I could go anywhere, it would be to the ocean. Not your busy, tourist attraction beach, but a quiet, secluded, sandy beach somewhere. That way I could take long walks with my family, play in the waves, build sandcastles, and even spend some quiet time alone with my Lord watching a peaceful sunset over the vast ocean that He created. Some of my fondest memories are of summer vacations spent on the Oregon Coast with my grandparents.

Have a great day everyone and remember, Sanctuary is in the Small Things!

Siesta Scripture Memory 5.15.09

Here is my Siesta verse 10! I'm almost half way with my commitment to memorize 24 verses in 2009! This time I stuck with the verse that Beth Moore picked out because it serves as a reminder to me how important it is to recognize God's hand in my life.

“Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Deuteronomy 4:9 NIV

For Beth Moore's explanation as to why she chose this particular verse, visit here. Everyone has a personal testimony to share. In my own life, I have seen the evidence of God's work time and time again. His provision, His healing touch, His direction, His hope. He has walked with me through many trials and replaced my despair with hope on numerous occasions. My heart rejoices at the opportunity to share what He has done in my life and how much that means to me.

It reminds me of one of the verses I memorized early on in my walk with Him. "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." -1 Peter 3:15

This month as I meditate on this Deuteronomy 4:9 I will be focusing on all the wonderful things that God has done in my life and watching for opportunities to share His love and faithfulness with my children and those around me.

Think about it: How prepared are you to give your testimony when the opportunity presents itself?

Company Girl coffee 4.17.09

Welcome to Company Girl Coffee! Grab a cup and stick around for a bit. I have a pretty funny story to share with you today! There are just some moments in parenting that are too good to keep to yourself. We'll call this story "Coloring Outside the Lines."

It all starts with a little innocent coloring with markers on giant calendars. When I left to take my three older kids to school, my two younger ones were laying on the floor, decorating their new calendars that dad brought home for them. I had a little extra time and I was kid-free so I decided to be productive and run a few errands before returning home.

I got home and the first words out of my husband's mouth were "Hey, take a look at your dog." Hmm...that can't be good. He's never my dog unless he's in trouble. Kind of like when we use the phrase "your kid." I looked down at Max, and to my surprise, there was a nice green and blue patch on his back! Oh dear.

"LR's doing?" I asked. "Yep," he answered, "and her little brother partner in crime."

This is where I had to restrain myself from laughing. I never thought I'd have to create the house rule "Don't color on the dog." Poor Max. It's a good thing he's tolerant of our very small, very creative children. That's not the end of my story, though.

Their Uncle was cleaning them up in the bathroom (because they drew on themselves too) when I heard him ask "LR, where's the green marker?" She must have tried to hide the evidence. Well, after a few minutes of giving her the third degree for four year olds, she confessed. It was behind the couch. What we discovered when we found it though, made my jaw drop.

There was marker on the window, the window sill, the CURTAINS, and the back of the couch. Since I wasn't there when it happened, I left the hard part to my DH. I cleaned up the mess (thank goodness for washable markers) while he doled out the punishment. You know it's a doozie when they march into the bedroom and the door closes behind them.

Bless their little hearts. I think they learned their lesson. Sometimes it's tough being a parent. But if you let them get away with coloring on the dog, then what else will they think they can get away with? Let's just leave that to the imagination.

What are some of the funniest "lessons" (or maybe they weren't so funny at the time) that you've experienced as a parent? Or perhaps from your own childhood? Please share! I've got my cup of coffee, and I am all ears.

Enjoy your weekend,

Melissa

A Sweet Reminder

This morning my two year old woke up with a bad dream. Or perhaps it was just that he couldn't breath very well because of his cold. Either way, I got to spend some very sweet time with one tired little boy for a while.

I was in the living room on the couch when I heard the cry. In my motherly instinct I jumped to my feet to run and see what was wrong. I couldn't understand CD through his tears so I just cuddled him in my arms and brought him back to the couch with me. He clung to me as I rubbed his back and whispered in his ear "it's ok sweetie, mommy's here."

Before I knew it, he was asleep in my arms. The last time I can remember laying with CD asleep in my arms is when he was very small. Small enough to fit on my chest. As I listened to him breathe I was reminded of what a precious gift he and each of my children are from the Lord.

It's moments like these that bring me to my knees in prayer. I pray that He will watch over these children of mine. I pray also that He will fill me with His unconditional love for them until it overflows into their lives and is so evident that they can't help but know that they are loved. I pray for wisdom, guidance, and strength to nurture them from day to day. Most of all, I pray that they will come to know and love Him on a personal level like I do.

What a blessing to be a mother! :)

Company Girl Coffee 3.20.09

Happy first day of Spring! Kids are off to school and my two youngest are playing nicely together. Oh, how I love to watch them play. It puts a smile on my face, and joy in my heart. :)

Last week I really enjoyed reading all of your comments about parenting. I have been really challenged lately as a parent in many ways. Part of it comes because my children are so close together in age. (7,6,5,4 and 2) With my oldest, I am finding all sorts of challenges that I am totally unprepared for. You know, the kinds of things you only learn from another girlfriend, not the parenting books. I am so blessed to be surrounded by other moms who have been there before me, even if it is across the miles through blogging!

This week I wanted to share something with you from the Beth Moore study "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman." Each week she has shared a scenario as a main point. This week it was "It's tough being a woman in a mean world." How true is that! She goes on to teach the difference between mean people and mean streaks, which are moments where meanness just rears its head in us. The difference between a mean person and someone who just had a mean streak show itself, is that mean people never say they are sorry or admit they are wrong. On the other hand, someone who had a momentary lapse in judgement and either said something mean or did something mean feels bad about it, is willing to apologize for it, and make amends.

As a parent, I have seen those mean streaks in me, and I do not like them one bit. Usually it's when I'm ever so busy, and my kids are acting out so I have to stop what I'm doing. Other times I am ill, or just plain tired and the little annoyances seem to flare up and become big ones. That's when I shout, blame, and sometimes say things that I immediately regret.

So what do I do when I find myself in those situations? I hug my kids and ask for forgiveness. They need to know that not even mom is perfect. How are they going to learn humility if they don't see it in me? In cases where disobedience was involved, after I've calmed down I explain to them why there will be consequences to their actions. Then in private, in my own time before the Lord, I work it out with Him. I ask Him to search my heart and see what caused my outburst. I "recharge" like Rachel Anne said today in her post, and seek Him in His Word and in prayer.

My Pastor said something on Sunday that really made sense to me. It's not often our successes that we learn and grow from, but our failures. Sometimes we just have to fall flat on our face before we can soar on wings. Can anyone relate to that? I can.

Isaiah 40:29-31 says it best.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Thank you for letting me be transparent before you. If I am really going to talk about what matters here, I need to be able to do that. I am so glad that I have each of you as friends for this journey. I look forward to having coffee with you throughout the weekend!

In His grace,

Melissa

Company Girl Coffee 3.13.09

I'm just about to make some lunch, so I've switched to water for the day, but I want to invite you to come in and hang out for a while. Something I read this morning really threw me for a loop and I'd love to hear your opinion about it.

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think anything else you do well matters very much." -Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

At first, this quote seemed pretty extreme to me. I mean, I'm trying my best to raise my children up well, but NOTHING else matters? Hmm...let me think about that some more.

Here's what Jesus had to say to His disciples when they asked Him who was the greatest in the kingdom of heaven:

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name, welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" -Matthew 18:2-6

That last part is pretty pointed. It makes me stop and think about what I can be doing with His help to better myself as a parent. Notice I said with His help. Would I say that I bungle my responsibilities as a parent from time to time? Yes. Definitely. All I can do is lean on Him while I do my best to raise up these little ones that He has entrusted to me. It takes a lot of humility, and a willingness on my part to admit my mistakes and learn from them.

So tell me, what are your thoughts on the matter? I look forward to hearing from you!

10 Things Tuesday

In celebration of my 4yr old's birthday, I will be writing my 10 things about her today! : ) Happy Birthday kiddo! You'll always be my Care Bear! I love you very much.

1. Four years ago today I was blessed with my fourth child. I love her so much. I am so thankful that she was born.
2. I love her smile. There's something mischievous behind it. It's very contagious. I am so thankful that she can make me smile, especially when I'm feeling down.
3. I am thankful that she is content to play by herself or entertain her little brother when I need to get some things done around the house.
4. She's very curious. Always wondering how things work and asking lots of questions. I am thankful for her desire to learn.
5. I am thankful for hugs and kisses! Any time I get ready to go out the door, and every morning when her daddy gets ready to go out the door, she runs with open arms yelling "hugs and kisses!"
6. I am thankful that the first thing she wanted to do this morning after opening her presents was share her puzzle with her brothers and sister. What a sweet thing to do!
7. I am thankful for and amazed at the imagination she has! She doesn't need a lot of toys. She takes what she has and turns it into whatever she wants to play. I love to watch her and sometimes play along.
8. I am thankful for her love of music. She loves all different kinds of music and wants to listen to music all day long.
9. She adores her big sister. I am so thankful that she was born a girl...and I'm sure her sister is too! Even with three years between them, they love to play princess and have tea parties and retreat to their room to play together away from the boys. I'm so thankful they get along the way they do.
10. Most of all, I'm thankful for the God given gift of raising this precious child. She is so dear to my heart, as are all of my other children.

Thank you, Lord, for the gift You've given me in each of my children. I am reminded with every birthday of the incredible privilege of being a parent. You answered my prayers for children, just as You did for Hannah. For this, my heart rejoices in You.

-1 Samuel 2:21 "And the LORD was gracious to Hannah; she conceived and gave birth to three sons and two daughters."

Love Rules

At the beginning of every year, my kids come home with a list of classroom rules for me to review, sign, and return to the teacher. Along with the rules, there is a list of what the consequences will be if they are broken. Here are a few examples of the "classroom rules":

• I will follow directions the first time
• I will listen while others are talking
• I will keep my hands, feet and other objects to myself
• I will work quietly and not disturb others
• I will follow school rules and respect school property
• I will work and play in a safe manner
• Manners matter!
• Be a friend to everyone
• Share with everyone
• Help clean up

All of these rules are important for classroom management. Not only that, but every single one of them relates in one way or another to our own household rules. I am really working on teaching my children that we have rules in this house, and there are consequences to breaking them. The number one rule in our house? Love one another. They hear it over, and over, and over again.

This morning, my two oldest children got into it and came to mom to be referee. JS didn't want RL sitting next to him, but instead of working it out with words, he pushed her right off the chair. Rachael used words, but she mostly shouted them at him. Not good, all around.

I talked them through the situation and how they could have handled it differently, and then I dealt out the consequences. Consequence for JS: he doesn't get to sit in the chair the rest of the day because he pushed his sister. Since RL didn't do anything physical to her brother, but rather just needs to work on her communication skills, she got off with a warning. Then I made them apologize to each other and hug.

From there, I took it a step further and read to them and their siblings from Colossians 3:12-14. "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." We discussed different ways that we can "put on love", and then I sent them off to school. Hopefully, this lesson will sink in and be noticeable here at home, at school, and in all other areas of their young lives.

More on Routines

Well, it's the second week of school and we are working out our routines as we go. Last week we worked on our morning routine. That seems to be running pretty smoothly now. What I noticed though, about our day, was that when my older two kids came home from the bus stop in the afternoon, things would break out into chaos. I would literally have 4 little mouths talking to me all at once! I felt like I was entering a football stadium!

This week, on Monday, I came up with a plan. I typed up our "afternoon routine", printed it off, and posted it right in the entryway for all to see. Our afternoon routine consists of:

• Take shoes off and put neatly in closet
• Take important papers out of backpack and give to mom or place in drawer
• Hang backpack neatly in closet
• Snack
• Homework
• Reading time
• Free time

It seems to be working so far. The kids can take one look at the list and know what they need to do next. There's no shouting, no questions, and mom can make it through the afternoon without losing her mind! : )

Structure and order. It's a work in progress around here. I'm learning just how important, and necessary it is when you have children.

First Day of School and Routines

Ahhh, the first day of school! It was actually yesterday, September 2nd. This year I have three out of five kids in school.

BC is entering into kindergarten, and very excited about it! JS is in first grade this year. RL, my oldest, is in second.
They only do half day kindergarten here, so I have BC home in the afternoons. JS was a little nervous about transitioning from half days to whole days, but he seemed to like it well enough yesterday. He was pretty pumped about riding the bus home with his sister. Since we only have one car, their dad can take them to school, but not pick them up. I think the idea of bus riding was more of a concern to me than my kids. It has turned out ok though.

School time means switching to school routines. We've been working on that one for a couple of weeks now. The kids no longer get to sleep in late and be lazy all morning. (That means mom doesn't get to be lazy either!) Here's what a typical school morning looks like for us:

• Wake up


• Get dressed


• Eat some breakfast, brush teeth


• Make sure everything is in backpacks and ready to go out the door

Pretty simple, right? You would think so! We try to get backpacks and shoes ready as a part of our bedtime routine so that we don't have to worry about it in the mornings. Actually, the first day of school ran rather smoothly. Everyone was very excited and we were ready to go out the door early. I was so proud of everyone for taking care of themselves and keeping on task. I even got some cute "first day of school" pictures. : )

This morning, though, was totally the opposite of yesterday. Anything that could go wrong did. I guess I need to work on being ok with that. Routine is good, but when life throws you curve balls, you gotta adjust your swing to hit them out of the park. (IDK, it sounded good as I was typing it!) Anyway, I just need to remind myself that having a routine in place is important, but it can't be so rigid that I freak out if something happens to throw it off.

For example, my toddler decided today was the day to pick up two hand fulls of cheerios and throw them across the dining room while I was trying to help JS get his folder back into his backpack. Crunch! Crunch! is all I heard as another child decided to walk all over them. Ugh. Where's the dog when you need him?

Actually, today has been the "day of spills". Cheerios, water, juice, milk, coffee...you name it and it's been spilled. Do you know what though? I've managed to maintain my composure, in spite of all those accidents. It's a good thing too, because one of them happened while I had a young friend of mine over that I am currently mentoring. It wouldn't set a very good example for her if I lost it when my coffee was spilled on the couch cushion now, would it? I simply told her that accidents happen, and messes can be cleaned. Maybe the next time her toddler spills milk, (or anything for that matter) she'll think of me and smile. I hope so. I pray so.

I guess what I'm trying to say as I ramble on about all this is that no matter what kind of perfect routine I try to put in place, there's always bound to be glitches. What matters is how I react to those glitches. At any given moment, I can have anywhere from two to ten little eyes watching me to see how I am going to react. That's very sobering to think about. Glitches are temporary. The impression that I make on their little hearts is often permanent. Need I say more?

Matthew 18:6 "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

Worth Reading!

I just wanted to put in a good word for my new friend Lylah, over at http://lylahledner.blogspot.com/ . She is an experienced mom who's blog is "dedicated to helping women restore the dignity of the simple home by creating sanctuary." I love reading her thoughts and this week she is offering a free e-book if you visit her blog and e-mail her. Just click on "about" and her e-mail is at the bottom. I'm super excited to have found her! She's worth reading.

The Ordinary Things

Yesterday's storm has passed, as expected. I never did figure out what it was that was bothering me. I just did a lot of praying and continued with my normal routine and today I feel better. Perhaps that's all I needed...a little re-focusing so that my day to day routine involved Jesus. It's nice when I find my thoughts drifting towards Him while doing what seems to me to be "ordinary things." Meals, dishes, and laundry are all necessary parts of my day, but they don't have to weigh down my spirit if I do them in love.

As I have mentioned before, some days I don't feel like doing the ordinary. Even on my worst days though, I'm glad to look back on the day and see what was accomplished. The way I look at it, I'm not just doing these things to take care of my children. I'm also setting an example for my children and enabling them to be responsible for themselves one day. That's why it's important to involve them in my chores and give them chores of their own.

Teaching them the skills is not the hard part. They are watching my attitude as well. Sometimes that can be a scary thought. I was watching my girls play house the other day and everything was "sweetie" this and "sweetie" that. I thought it was pretty cute. (I must call them sweetie a lot.) My point is, they pick up on my moods not only by what I say, but how I say it! All the more reason to do things with a cheerful heart!

I like the way the Message puts it in Philippians 2:14 - "Do everything readily and cheerfully, no bickering-no second guessing allowed!" From now on, there will be no second guessing about how important the "ordinary" things are in life for this mom. : )